Today is my daughter and my wasbands birthday. My daughter surprised us 27 years ago and decided to arrive two weeks early on August 9th…her father’s birthday. Happy birthday to both of you! This blog is dedicated to my daughter and my wasband. If any of you have read my book, RECONCILED: A Story of Divorce, Redemption, and a Blended Family United, you know about our blended family story and how God answered my prayers. He healed our hearts, reconciled us to each other, and united our blended family.
After I wrote my book, God put it upon my heart to start a ministry. I felt compelled to help other blended families heal, reconcile, and unite as our blended family had done. With much prayer and meditation, Blended Families United ministry became my answered prayer. Blended Families United became a Member Ministry of Ministry Alliance on April 19, 2018. In the five short months of becoming a ministry, God has answered prayers for some of the stepcouples, who area also co-parents, from the Smart Stepfamily classes and The Smart Stepfamily Marriage study groups by Ron Deal that I teach. I’m so excited and grateful for the miracles God has done in these blended families! I want to share with you a few stories of how God answered their prayers and performed miracles in their blended families.
Bill and Kim’s Story
Bill and Kim (names changed to protect their privacy) have been married for four years. It is Kim’s second marriage and Bill’s first marriage. Kim has two children from her first marriage and her and Bill have a child together. They attended the Smart Stepfamily Marriage study group. In the study group, they shared the challenges they were having with Kim’s co-parent not cooperating with them and how they were trying to avoid arguments with him. Bill and Kim were both exhausted and stressed. At the end of each class, we prayed for each couple that God would help them to apply what they had learned and to bless them as a couple and their blended family. Several months went by and I hadn’t talked to Bill or Kim at church. One day, I saw them talking outside of the sanctuary. They shared with me how they invited Kim’s wasband to come to church with them for Easter. “How wonderful!” I exclaimed. A few more months went by when I ran into them in the hallway at church. They proceeded to tell me that Kim’s co-parent was reading the book The Smart Stepfamily and that he wanted to attend a Smart Stepfamily class. Kim said to me, “See, Bobbi, the work you’re doing is making a difference.”
Tina and Tom’s Story
Tina and Tom (names changed to protect their privacy) are engaged to be married in the summer of 2018. Tom has a young son from a previous relationship and this is Tina’s first marriage. Tom and Tina attended both the Smart Stepfamily Marriage study group and the Smart Stepfamily classes and decided to do pre-stepcouple/marriage mentoring before the wedding. During this time, both Tom and Tina were having a difficult time coordinating schedules, preschool, and visitation days with Tom’s co-parent. Tom’s co-parent appeared to be nice to Tina and Tom in person but talked negatively about them to the son. Tina and Tom didn’t know what to do when Tom’s son shared this information with them. They tried meeting and talking things out with Tom’s co-parent but it always ended up back to being negative. We prayed continuously for Tina and Tom, for Tom’s co-parent, and for their son. We didn’t give up. One day, Tina shared with me that Tom’s co-parent served them papers to have a Child Family Investigation (CFI) report done. Tom’s co-parent claimed that their son wasn’t being treated well by Tina or Tom. Both Tina and Tom were devastated. They felt that Tom’s co-parent, the biological mother, was the one who was unhealthy for their son to be around. They hoped the CFI report would show this so they could get full custody of Tom’s son. After the CFI report was done, Tina texted me the results of the report. She and Tom were dishearted from the results. The CFI report showed that Tina and Tom would not be getting primary custody of Tom’s son but that the biological mother would be the primary parent. This is not what Tina and Tom expected. I encouraged Tina to not give up hope and to keep praying. That God has a plan for all of them in this. We don’t know or understand what His plan is but we have to trust in God. A few weeks later, Tina texted me that something big happened between them and Tom’s co-parent. Tina shared that on their way to pick up Tom’s son, she prayed the whole way there for a breakthrough. When they arrived, they had an hour and a half conversation with Tom’s co-parent about the CFI report and how it was not correct. They all agreed that paying people to decide what’s best for their son, doesn’t mean that the people know what’s best for him; only they, his parents and co-parents, know whats best for their son. They then agreed on things like schedules, holidays, school, changing the location of pickup and drop off to someplace more friendly other than the police station, getting together to do holidays like Halloween, 50/50 visitation, and figuring out what’s best for everyone’s schedule. Tom’s co-parent semi-apologized to Tina. She confessed to Tina that she didn’t like Tina because she was in her son’s life and doing so much for him and she was jealous. She said she can move past that now. God answered their prayer and brought healing, reconciliation, and unity to their blended family. Only God can do miracles.
I’m so excited about the healing, reconciliation, and miracles that God is doing in and through these co-parents and their blended families. Blended family unity makes a difference not only for the adults but in the children’s lives as well. It is so empowering to see co-parents and stepparents collaborate, get along peacefully, and even become friends with one another.
John and Cheryl and Fred and Cindy Story
I am blessed to know two other stepcouples, John and Cheryl and Fred and Cindy (names changed to protect their privacy) outside my classes. Fred and Cheryl were married and had two children together who are now both in college. They divorced and remarried to new partners. Fred and Cindy had two children of their own (who are young), John and Cheryl did not. The two stepcouples live 10 minutes away from each other, and the greatest part about their story is that both Fred and John work together. Fred hired John to work with him in the insurance business. Each stepcouple developed a friendship with one another over the years. They have made it a point to get together as a blended family during the week, at company events, and at their son’s college football games. It is a joy to see them get along as friends and to hear them talk respectfully about each other and their blended family.
How about you? Do you have a successful blended family story to share? We’d love to hear about it. Please click reply if you’d like to share your blended family success story. God bless you and your blended family.